This is my favourite meme so far. All you have to do is complete the sentence.
I'm snatching the baton from Rockmother's post. From where you can find others, too.
1. My uncle once: made a pass at my aunt, his wife's sister.
2. Never in my life: will I vote Tory.
3. When I was five: I got measles and an ear infection.
4. High school was: all boys together.
5. I will never forget: the day we met.
6. Once I met: one of the backing singers in Rocky Sharpe & The Replays.
7. There’s this girl I know: who says "HELLO GEOFF!" really loudly.
8. Once, at a bar: I asked what beer the squirrel was.
9. By noon, I’m usually: looking forward to my lunch hour.
10. Last night: I gave up after fifteen minutes of A Zed And Two Noughts.
11. If only I had: enough money to retire.
12. Next time I go to church: I will neither sing nor pray, as usual.
13. What worries me most: is West Ham, as it is not life or death.
14. When I turn my head left I see: fucking enormous geraniums.
15. When I turn my head right I see: drab grey 1970s filing cabinets.
16. You know I’m lying when: I say I enjoy my job.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: a healthily functioning digestive system.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: dressed as a woman.
19. By this time next year: I will have more grey hairs.
20. A better name for me would be: Omar Sharif.
21. I have a hard time understanding: what they're saying on The Sopranos and The Wire so I put the subtitles on.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: choose more arty subjects.
23. You know I like you if: I comment on your blog.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: my grandmother for her fucking horrible toffee.
25. Take my advice, never: go for a walk in Los Roques, Tenerife.
26. My ideal breakfast is: shredded wheat, mixed nuts, prunes and milk, all to keep me nice and regular.
27. A song I love but do not have is: Here's To You by Ennio Morricone, vocals by Joan Baez.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: get the hell out of the shit hole.
29. Why won’t people: pay more tax?
30. If you spend a night at my house: you'd be squatting as we don't do visitors.
31. I’d stop my wedding for: a Grumbleweeds concert.
32. The world could do without: weapons, religion and Giles Brandreth.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: do jury service again.
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: currently Annie.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: most managers in offices.
36. If I do anything well it’s: navigate sky plus.
37. I can’t help but: laugh at Mike Read.
38. I usually cry: when sports people I'm supporting win.
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: is don't get born.
40. And by the way: yesterday in the street I saw Frank Skinner.