For Gary, England and St George

The Government wants to give us an extra Bank Holiday day. But they want to make us work for it.

"The challenge in adding an extra bank holiday is to find a day that celebrates national identity in an increasingly multicultural Britain," said James McCoy, senior leisure analyst of Mintel, the company commissioned to survey 2,000 people.

41% of those surveyed wanted St George's Day, April 23rd.

38% thought Remembrance Day, November 11th, would be a better day.

The problem with St George's Day is that the sort of people who celebrate it would not necessarily celebrate a multicultural Britain. Street parties controlled by knuckleheads singing "Engerland! Engerland! Engerland!" would be a bit of a step backwards.

I'm all for Remembrance Day being chosen. I would celebrate "national identity in an increasingly multicultural Britain" by having two minutes' silence at 11 a.m. The rest of the day I would treat as any other bank holiday, battening down the hatches, keeping away from people.

*******

The constant news about every step of Gary Glitter's release and rehabilitation (ha!) is really getting on my tits. Who gives a shit about Gary Glitter?

Maybe the kid from my primary school.

One day two kids had a fight. They wanted to prove who was the best pop star. One fought for Marc Bolan. The other fought for Glitter. Neither won as the fight was broken up by a dinner lady.

I wonder at what point in his life the Glitter fan stopped fighting for his hero? Is he still doing it now?

"Gary's the best!"

"No he's not, Cliff is!"

"Wanker!"

"Paedo!"

"Come on then! You want some?"