Saturday, August 09, 2008

Sally Needs More Friends

I love Sally Shalam. My Saturdays wouldn't be complete without reading about one of the lovely weekend breaks she's had in southern England.

Today we read about Chaffeymoor Grange in Dorset. A three night weekend sets you back at least £4,200 in September. Sally goes with her chums in high summer.

"It just needs more people," says one of Sally's friends of the property which sleeps twenty. Sally and her party number under ten. It would cost them probably at least £500 each for three nights' accommodation (if they were to pay, of course).

"After supper, the women settle by the blaze to play cards, as rain lashes against mullioned windows. The men push off into the games room to play pool. It's like being in Peter's Friends (without the weird stuff)."

I've never seen Peter's Friends as I couldn't give a flying fuck about Cambridge University graduates having a reunion. But I wonder what weird stuff goes on? Naked punting in the bath? Oh Sally, you've really whet my appetite, you saucy minx.

"We might even book a re-run at Chaffey next year."

Yeah, if it's fucking free you might.


  1. I don't know Sally Shalam. But I saw 'Peter's Friends'.
    The only thing I remember is when the housekeeper tells them she's retiring as she wants to watch more videos.

    Great line.

  2. Don't be too hard on Sally. She isn't that flush as the last paragraph here will indicate.

  3. That actually made me quite angry.
    Thanks Geoff for reminding me that I hate the bloody Guardian and all the bloody poseurs who write for it (Frank Keating excepted).

  4. I hope a wandering cow leaves a big steamy pile of shit on her doorstep.

    Morning, Sal!

  5. Kaz - That's as good a reason for retiring as I can think of. Not Kenny Branagh videos, though.

    Murph - No wonder everything seems perfect on her weekends away. The poor thing!

    Malc - I was in a bad mood with the paper yesterday. I was even swearing at Simon Hoggart's line about yobbery filtering upwards to the middle class. I'm sure he was being tongue in cheek. Wasn't he?

    MJ - But the English countryside is so beautiful!

  6. Peter's Friends has no weird stuff. None whatsoever. A ritual murder or two would have improved it.

  7. It sounds like it should be populated with woodland animals.