Saturday, December 09, 2006

Quotes of the Year 2006

Overheard on the train: a young lady speaking to a friend on her mobile phone about why she is changing gyms...

"I go there to work out, to de-stress, not to get stressed out by some fucking weirdo looking at me."


  1. Gyms are like parties. There's more than one person in them, so it's not a good place to be.

    Betty agrees with me don't you Betty?

    I'd quite like to get one of those running things though. Where you can make it go faster with a button. Now, that would be fun. You could put the marmalade on it at breakfast and then you wouldn't have to get up to pass it to someone.

    What's with exercise bikes as well? Do. They. Go. Anywhere? Why do they look like bikes then? Just put some peddles on a box, don't try and make it look like a bike - it ain't going nowheres.

    And those leather pully pushy things. That slam down on your chest and nearly kill you. What's all that about? It could just drop down on you at any moment. And KILL YOU! Great health benefits with that one.

    I don't think anyone would stare at me. They'd be moving away very quickly. Running from the extra leg and the lack of neck. And the odour of digestive biscuits from my feet.

    Too much sherry again Mollster. Lay off it will ya!

    Hope you are having a good Saturday evening. I shall have a drink for you both. At least you're not going out to that restaurant again. Phew!

    I went to another new restaurant in Bexleyheath recently and the owner was wearing gold lycra trousers and a see through shirt. I don't think he had any pants on either. Ooh, it was awful. No, really.

  2. Gym changing rooms are interesting places.

    Absolutely nothing like Debbie Does Dallas, you're probably shocked to learn.

  3. Anonymous9:13 AM

    It's an easy mistake to make, Geoff, but she was actually changing "Jims".
    The first Jim may actually have been James Blunt, so the Sun could be interested in your anecdote.

  4. Molly - I went to a gym once. I felt all pumped up and itchy after my workout and couldn't sleep a wink that night. I didn't go back. Since then I've tried all sorts of Argos home exercise aids and like my old hamster have now settled on a treadmill.

    Spin - The changing room scenario must add even more stress.

    Murph - Except I'm not so sure Blunty is particularly weird. Just a bit dim.

  5. Molly, does that restaurant really exist? We were thinking of trying a place that has opened recently next week, so will look out for a bloke in 1978 disco keks with no visible panty line.

    There's also a curry house here where you're guaranteed to hear the collected works of Kenny G throughout the evening. Talk about oozing class!

  6. I've been to a gym once, that was enough for me.

  7. Richard1:55 AM

    I've seen a gym.

  8. Angelina11:45 AM

    I know a man called Jim