Thursday, December 14, 2006

Xmas Book Preview

We get a few books at Christmas. We get to choose the ones we want. I look in the ‘Religious’ section.

I see AN Wilson’s biography of Jesus Christ.

“Jesus!” I say.

“Are you alright?” asks a concerned colleague.

I surreptitiously take Jesus and the Andy Summers autobiography. I want to compare and contrast.

One thought he was God’s gift to the world. The other was in a band with a man who thinks he’s God’s gift.

Jesus/Sting. Crucifixion/Tantric sex. Both bolt upright for hours.

Who suffered more? Jesus on the cross or Sting on the job?

It’s Christmas so I’m reading Jesus first.


  1. Jesus' last words were "Abba, abba"*

    I think that gives you an idea of his musical tastes.

    *Aramaic for father

  2. Anonymous2:25 PM

    I had a psychotic patient once who belived that Sting was the second son of God. Not sure where Andy Summers fitted into his world view. An apostle?

  3. Anonymous3:16 PM

    ...and of course "yAbba dAbba Do" is a tantric cry from the Gospel according to Wilma.

  4. Alternatively - who has inflicted more harm on the world?

    Jesus - Catholic education, sadistic nuns, paedo priests, guilt complex, wars, Aids etc

    Still think Sting wins though.

  5. Billy It just so happens I've bought Abba Abba for Betty for Christmas. I hope she's not going to turn into a Jesus freak.

    Realdoc - I don't think Sting and the second coming belong in the same sentence. It takes him all day for the first.

    Murph - Bjorn & Barney.

    Spin - Yes. Sting wins hands down.

  6. Remind me what Jesus has to do with Christmas again?

  7. Anonymous8:34 PM

    And Jesus was a much better musician. And there were no fucking silly christmas songs on his albums.

  8. Wyndham - Don't you feel sometimes the real message has been lost in a sea of greedy consumption?

    Vicus - I hear he had a voice like Otis Redding and would have possibly reached the X-Factor final if he'd been alive today.

  9. Anonymous9:30 AM

    Sting or Jesus - horribly tempted to get serious here so I'll get my coat.
    Happy Birthday Geoff.

  10. Thank you, Tom.

    If Jesus were here now he'd get his own coat. He just wouldn't fit in.

  11. Yes - Jesus, Sting and (especially)Trudy Styler can be blamed for just about everything - including the destruction of the rain forest.

    But I like/d Andy Summers... so I hope he isn't guilty by association

  12. I had a hypnotherapy CD a few years ago - music by Andy Summers.

    I don't know whether it was the same Andy Summers but he didn't work as well as prescribed medication.

  13. HA..very punny...second coming/tantric sex observations geoff.
    I would gladly answer your question about the cross/on the job were it not for my residual guilt and aversion to lightning strikes...
    oh what the hell..
    four tantric hours spent inTRUDYng Mrs Sting seems like repaying some sort of Karmic Penance to me.

  14. Sting?

    It must do after all that.

  15. "Who suffered more?"

    Mary Magdalene or Trudi Styler?

  16. Trudi's had Sting for longer so I think she's suffered a lot more. Mary and Jesus never ran out of wine.