Wednesday, December 20, 2006

A Verse For Christmas

When I was a young blogger I was very naive and thought people would be interested in my silly little poems about pop stars. Poems such as this one about Chris Evans' fantasy shag and lead singer of one of the worst bands of all time, Texas...

Oh Sharleen Spiteri...
Do you eat dairy?
Your complexion is four out of four.

Your smooth creamy skin
Is packing 'em in,
But your middle aged pop is a bore.

This was before I realised you had to network in order to be a big blogging star. The muse, however, hasn't left me. And yesterday I was inspired by hearing a song on my least favourite radio station, Heart 106.2.

I hope you enjoy it, though experience says you won't...

When Crosby sings White Christmas
He sings it with such class
When Michael Bublé does the same
I just think "silly arse"

Bing can almost fill me up
With happy Christmas cheer
Bublé brings me to despise
This rotten time of year

I have no need of presents
I'll be content with nothing
But Bublé's gob filled to the brim
With sage and onion stuffing


  1. Anonymous2:26 PM

    Bravo Geoff. More Please. Directing your muse to Muse could be amusing.
    However you've just ruined my day by using "Chris Evans" and "Fantasy Shag" in the same sentence.

  2. Wild applause from Canuckistan!

  3. David Crosby's idea of a 'white' Christmas is probably a little dated now.
    I am sure that if you snort a few lines of Crosby's version that Buble would probably sound OK.

    btw I am listening to INNER SMILE..Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

  4. I enjoyed it. So much for what experience says.

  5. Thank you all.

    Murph - I think Muse are funny enough as they are.

    HE - I didn't realise Texas had sold any records outside of the UK. Even when they had Old Dirty Bastard with them. No, not Peter Stringfellow.

  6. Geoff I just went back in time to 2004. Your poetry has improved considerably... Thank God!
    Did your grandad really look like Bowie?

  7. Oh, I have weird and extremely unpleasant recurring dreams where my mouth is full of stuff that I can't get out and I'm gagging and choking.

    I have no idea who that Buble chap is, mind, but I'm sure he deserves it.

  8. My grandad looked more like Bing, Kaz. Pa ruppa pum pum.

    We're just off for our Christmas dinner. We've already had our names read out by Toby Anstiss, the twat on Heart. I don't want Toby Anstiss dedicating a Paolo Nutini song to me.

  9. Anonymous1:47 PM

    Didn't Bling Crosby get a MOBO award this year? Gold plated scooter?

  10. If Jamie Cullum can get one they might as well give one to Sircliff.

    Back from dinner.

    I've had enough of Christmas, thank you.

  11. By the way I think I've spelt Toby Anstiss, Paolo Nutini and Jamie Cullum all wrong.


  12. Bublé's interpretation of "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine" brings me out in a rash.

    My word verification has been "smenita" all day.

    Have I been wierded?

  13. Does he get down as low as Lou?

  14. That smenita thing happened to Betty a few months ago, didn't it. Must be something to do with that word.