If I were John Terry tonight, picking up a copy of the London Lite, I'd be so embarrassed I wouldn't know where to turn.
"He cried all night - Chelsea skipper inconsolable" screams the headline.
I'd be thinking to myself, "Why do I always behave like a spoilt child? Everyone knows a real man cries when he wins, not when he loses."
If I were John Terry today, I'd also be hanging my head in shame. Not for missing a penalty, but for my disgusting unprovoked spit at one of modern football's great players, Carlos Tevez. I'd be worried that Fabio Capello saw my act and won't pick me for England ever again.
The London Lite has got its knickers in a twist about the amount of potential money squandered by Chelsea's inability to win the Champions League.
£5m in prize money
£30m in commercial spin-offs and merchandising
£20m in media rights and sponsorship
£10m in increased tourism for London
Excuse me? Increased tourism for London? Who in their right mind is going to visit London just because one of its football teams won a match? I can see the logic of some idiots visiting London because of the Royal Family's presence (though nowhere near as many idiots as is claimed), but a football team?
What utter bullshit.
19 minutes ago