From today's Metro...
The Mediterranean diet may be good for the brain as well as the body. Eating the way people do in southern Italy can help reduce the risk of an elderly person's mental decline turning into Alzheimer's disease.
High consumption of white bread, ham, cheese, pizza, tiramisu and ice cream, plenty of strong coffee and forty cigarettes a day could cut the risk of developing the ailment by half, according to researchers at New York's Columbia University Medical Centre.
"Well, fuck me," said sufferer Arthur Grinley, 87 from Haywards Heath. "If I'd known about this fifty years ago I wouldn't have been a bleedin' brown ricer for most of me adult life."