Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Isn't Alan Partridge Rubbish?

Recently I've been having a lot of fun with The Satanist's Big Bumper Book of Fun 1954 Summer Holiday Annual. It is crammed full of puzzles and games to play on the beach/khazi. Completing the Quik Crossword yesterday during a bout of diarrhoea, I was alarmed to discover what you get when you reverse the words 'LIVE' and 'LIVED'.

It really doesn't bear thinking about too much, does it?

Neither does the BBC's latest episode in the series The Story Of Light Entertainment. This week, we heard all about The Chat Show.

I have four things to report from this programme:-

1. That Was The Week That Was was even more prevalent in the history of all types of light entertainment than The Music Hall which was surprisingly NOT a precursor to The Chat Show.

2. If I were to become a Chat Show Host, the presenter I would most resemble would be Eamonn Andrews, what with his constant nerves and extreme sweating under the studio lights, next to his famous guests.

3. If you invite a crazy alcoholic such as George Best, Oliver Reed, or Cliff Richard onto your chat show, there is really only one possible outcome...Clips of the interview will be shown for ever more.

4. I am reminded of just how much I miss Caroline Aherne on our small screens and of how much I fancy her when she is playing Mrs Merton. If I had a psychotherapist, they would have a field day. If my psychotherapist was dressed as Mrs Merton, so would I!

18 comments:

  1. I'm all TW3'd out I'm afraid. If I see antoher clip of Millicent Martin singing that bloody song and another clip of Ned Sherrin declaiming how he changed the world I think I'm going to throw up. I made the mistake of switching from Talksport to Radio 4 this morning - as you do - and heard a trail with David Frost talking about, yes, the birth of British satire! There she was, warbling in the background. Millicent, not Ned.

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  3. Because she made eyes at me all those years ago, I won't hear a word said against our Millie. Drony old Sherrin, yes.

    On the programme, Frosty said he never got jetlag, therefore he was well suited to hosting several chat shows a week in both Britain and USA. Then they showed him introducing breakfast telly several years later and he looked absolutely shattered. Surely the research wasn't keeping him up all night?

    And didn't he give Nixon a hard time? No, not DAVID Nixon!

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  4. Anagram exhibit A: "Elvis Lives"
    Anagram exhibit B: "Elvis Evils"
    Coincidence?

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  5. I'm going to see Frost/Nixon at the Donmar Theatre in a couple of weeks so I've got more Frosty to come. I hope there's some magic in the show.

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  6. MJ - He's the devil in disguise.

    Wyndham - Is Frost played by Basil Brush?

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  7. Mrs. Merton? I wonder if anyone else has that particular pin-up(ess). I am always having the mickey taken out of me because of my crush on Lee Majors.

    I think you'd be better than Eamonn. Much better.

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  8. Yes, and Nixon is played by Mr Derek.

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  9. Molly - I never liked Farrah False-Tits. I was always more of a Kate Jackson man. I think I'd be sweatier than Eamonn at least.

    Wyndham - Boom boom.

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  10. Mrs Merton?

    I would.

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  11. Yeah, I'm also sick to the back teeth of TW3 reverence, but given that chat-show hosts these days include Charlotte Church (who has a fantastic rack and is a great role model for young girls (in that she actually eats) but tv interviewing?) and Sharon Fucking Osbourne (who is useful for absolutely fuck-all), they're probably entitled to gloat..

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  12. So much to say, but I guess the most important point is that really I didn't fancy Mrs Merton, but she was great in The Royal family. I fancied her in that, and her Mum.

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  13. Billy/Tom - I think Caroline was more herself as Mrs Merton, and all the more fanciable for it.

    Spin - Charlotte probably got the job on account of her performances on the Frank Skinner Show. Sharon Osborne's where she is now because she saved the life of an idiot.

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  14. Billy/Tom - I think Caroline was more herself as Mrs Merton, and all the more fanciable for it.

    Spin - Charlotte probably got the job on account of her performances on the Frank Skinner Show. Sharon Osborne's where she is now because she saved the life of an idiot.

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  15. Richard11:15 AM

    I can think of worse things to do than spend an evening with only Mesdames Aherne and Church for company.

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  16. Nice try Richard, but you've got a long way to go to take Tom's crown as Britain's Horniest Older Man.

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  17. Yes, that's true Geoff. And yes, I also find Charlotte Church a real beauty. And so true about the eating - doesn't she look gorgeous compared to all these stick insects.

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  18. No no, wasn't even trying. I wouldn't dare to.

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