Thursday, September 21, 2006

To Lovers' Island and Back

Think of the greatest love stories the world has ever seen, and try to imagine what kind of a world it would have been if these men and women had not exchanged bodily fluids:-

Taylor and Burton

Moss and Doherty

The Krankies

Llanddwyn Island is not really an island. It is a peninsula, named after St Dwynwen, patron saint of Welsh lovers.

Dwynwen was chaste. She was chased round the island by horny old Prince Maelon.

"Come on darling, just a quick one while he's away."

"There is no 'he'. And anyway, who do you think you are, Pete Townsend?"

"If you want me to be. And you can be my Princess Margaret."

"Oh do bugger off, you old goat. I'm going to live by 'ere as an 'ermit."

"I'm off to blimmin' Bangor then. At least the women put out there."

"Even the blimmin' sheep won't have you. You reek of cider and B.O."

Llanddwyn Island is beautiful. When the sun's out, the walk from Llanddwyn Bay to the edge of the peninsula is the most beautiful walk in the world.

And then you're on it, on the island, heading towards the edge of the world.

Which, to leave you in suspense, will be posted on Betty's site in the near future.

How To Get There
As you enter Anglesey, turn left towards Llanfairpwllgwyngyll. That's Llanfairpwllgwyngyll. Don't ask any locals the way. Continue along the A4080 till you reach Newborough. Now you're lost. Ask someone in the street (not one of the hard looking teenagers sitting on the low brick wall opposite the pub) how to get to the beach. They will tell you to turn at the road next to the White Lion. Drive up this road till you reach the toll for the car park. You'll need two pound coins and Bob's your uncle.


On our way back from Anglesey, we stop off at our second favourite place in Wales: Thomas Telford's enormous erection, Pont-Cysyllte aqueduct.

Picture not author's own. What do you think I am, a fucking bird?

Doesn't that get Jeremy Clarkson creaming his jeans? Why not walk along it and enjoy the view!

Don't jump in the water.

It's a long way down.


  1. I have walked along Pontcysyllte quite recently but I can vouchsafe it wasn't cream. We like Llangollen a lot and I often drive out to the Ponderosa for a cheese roll and a brew.

  2. It looks beautiful there. I've only ever visited Anglesey when it's been grim and raining.

  3. Richard - We've been there 3 times over the past 10 years and each time it takes your breath away (we've been lucky with the weather).

    RoMo - It sounds like we've been extremely lucky with the weather when we've visited Lovers' Island, too. The 5 day weather forecast was for showers so you can never tell unless you're a local.

  4. What a lovely scenic tour...unfortunately my brain is still back at Dick and Liz..scandalous!

    Is there an actual phonic translation for Llanfairfrickinpwllgwyngyll????????
    What the hell is that?
    It looks like they're translating 'Dolphin'....

  5. If you can say that, HE, you are officially a Welsh speaker.