Monday, September 25, 2006

Trench Song

"It's like Fred Karno's army."

That was one of my dad's stock phrases, along with...

"Horses eat it, pigs shit in it," whenever I said "eh?" instead of "pardon?".

"Don't tickle it, it won't laugh," whenever I didn't kick the football hard enough.

And it is, indeed, like Fred Karno's army...

We are Fred Karno's army, we are the ragtime infantry.
We cannot fight, we cannot shoot, what bleeding use are we?
And when we get to Berlin we'll hear the Kaiser say,
'Hoch, hoch! Mein Gott, what a bloody rotten lot, are the ragtime infantry'


  1. This was all very entertaining - especially considering that you are a "wet blanket" and all ;) :)

  2. My Mum used to say "Tea, Edmund?" in a Lady Bracknell kind of voice when she was offering a cuppa. I used to know where it came from but can't for the life of me remember. Possibly ITMA or even a misquote from the Goons. Maybe even Round the Horne. Maybe some of your very old readers can enlighten me?

  3. Lee - I wouldn't look out of place in Fred's army.

    Richard - I know Kaz mentioned Michael Foot the other day, but I doubt he's googled his name and started reading here. Could Edmund have been one of the original PG Tips chimps?