Thursday, February 07, 2008

Shoot Me Now

I meet my cousin on the train. We bump into each other about once every six months. We talk a bit about old times.

When we were young we used to go tenpin bowling together. Neither of us goes now. But he tells me the bowling game on the Wii console is pretty much as good as the real thing. You can even make your ball curl by using the right wrist action!

He does have a hobby nowadays, though. He goes clay pigeon shooting. It's great. You can spend a whole day doing it or even just a couple of hours. It's a sport of great skill and it's very social. He's tried shooting real birds but it's not as satisfying as shooting the clay sort.

Yes, I say, there must be more luck involved in shooting birds. It all depends on their flight path.

I am right. He takes my interest as enthusiasm for trying his pastime.

"Do you fancy it, Geoff?"

I can't think of anyone less suited to holding a gun and conversing with a bunch of gun toting guys than me. Except perhaps Prince Edward.

"I don't really have the time," I say.

"What do you do with your spare time then? Everybody's got something."

"I write," I say.

"I'M A WRITER!" I shout to the whole carriage.


  1. "I can't think of anyone less suited to holding a gun and conversing with a bunch of gun toting guys than me. Except perhaps Prince Edward."

    I'd be pretty awful at it.

  2. Anonymous10:44 PM

    But how many of them could you pick off before they wrestled you to the ground? Now THAT's a sport.

  3. I accidentally misread that as "tampon bowling."

    I really shouldn't go out in public.

  4. ...and 'a WRITER' you are. It's very social too.

    P.S. Did you read the article recently about how shooting things is the latest popular subject in schools? Some of them have built their own rifle ranges.

  5. Billy - We'd be pretty useless if we'd gone to the Spanish Civil War.

    Bob - A good spectator sport. We'd need a colosseum, though.

    MJ - Yes, we used to bowl little cotton wool balls.

    Kaz - We're all writers! I didn't spot that article. My cousin's 9 year old has a junior gun and goes shooting with his dad. I can see some reports of the future. "Jordan is a constant dispruption in class but he is a fine shot."

  6. "I'm a WRITER!" I shout to the whole carriage." - I hope you added in an undertone: "....and a lover.."

  7. My favourite line in the great film Atlantic City is when Burt Lancaster passionately said "I'm a lover!"

    I've always wanted to say it. Maybe when I get as old as Burt was.

  8. Why not shoot Lawyers like American VP....
    who are we kidding defacto President Dick 'DUCK!' Cheney!?