Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Q & A

SIR PERCIVAL





Sir Percival was born in Norfolk in December 2004. He left his home and family the following January. He now lives in a community of swine on the Isle of Wight.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Solitude. Tranquility. A babbling brook.

What is your greatest fear?
Slaughter.

What is your greatest extravagance?
I buy a lot of art. I have put a lot of this in my other extravagance, a 14th century house in France...Only teasing. I'd say my greatest extravagance is probably ASDA Smart Price Vanilla Ice Cream.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My bum.

What is your most treasured possession?
As a Christian and a Socialist - I'd have to say my soul and my brain.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Farting in the farmer's face.

What is your favourite smell?
Truffles. I've only smelt them once and they drove me wild.

What is your greatest pleasure?
Farting in the farmer's face.

To whom would you most like to say sorry and why?
To the child I made cry last week. I should have been a good piggy.

Which living person do you most despise and why?
As a Socialist and a Christian, I'd have to say George W Bush.

When did you last cry, and why?
Yesterday. Sir Arthur stepped on my trotter. Sir Arthur is an extremely clumsy, heavy pig.

How do you relax?
Sleeping and eating.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
It's what's inside that counts.

8 comments:

  1. Sir Percival, is it true that you modeled for this fart cup ?

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  2. Sir Percival, aren't you concerned that you're contributing to global warming what with all the methane you're producing with your farts?

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  3. That's the trouble with pigs.

    I've never had any awful smells emanating from my cock.

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  4. MJ - I'm afraid Sir Percival cannot comment as this interview was done for The Guardian's Weekend section, hopefully to be published soon. Sir P spent his fee on some fresh truffles. Last time I saw him he was as happy as a pig in shit.

    FG - Welcome to my blog and so good to see you've started one of your own. Giles is an old friend of the family, everyone.

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  5. How do you relax?
    Sleeping and eating.

    Well Geoff - how restrained -
    I dread to think what your mate Sir P might have said .. especially if mj had been conducting the interview.

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  6. Welcome Farmer Giles. Your blog rocks!

    Sir Percival, if it's not too forward of me, how's your love life?

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  7. Kaz - Do you mean MJ may have probed him a bit more?

    MJ - Ah, I see you have. They do have this question in The Guardian. But I'd think it would take an awful lot of truffles to persuade Sir P to divulge such information. I know he had a nice bit of crackling under his watchful eye while I was there.

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  8. Nice interview Geoff, and one cool pig.
    I'd better pop over to check out Farmer Giles's cock.

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